I am new to this group and i don't know if im posting in the right place or not. If it's in the wrong place apologies.

I don't know whats wrong with me, all that i can say is that i feel nothing besides anger, sadness and irritability. I don't get any enjoyment out of anything or anyone. I am currently in a long term relationship and im finding it very hard as i don't know how to show emotion or affection. The only way that i know i love her is that when i think of her dying or leaving i want to cry. She now is pressuring me to get married and i don't know if i want to because of this she is always on at me about being more affectionate and open but i don't know how to do that.

Many bad things have happened in my life which i believe have pushed me to be this way but i don't know how to fix it. i only mentioned a few things in my life i did not want to write an essay for you guys to go through. any and all advice would be helpful, thank you