I do know that some of what you describe--the anger, irritability, sadness and lack of showing emotion are common in depression and the lesser forms of it. I have suffered from it in varying degrees since childhood and experience those feelings. You mention a change in you that you think comes from traumatic events. I'm certainly no authority but maybe you could talk to a therapist to examine those issues. I've been in therapy off and on in life and it is true that life's negativity and our emotional traumas can have a cumulative effect on us.

I would clearly recommend that you hold off on marriage while you are going through such emotional turmoil. It's a massive decision and I would focus on examining what you are going through first.

In general, many people detail their problems here--I wouldn't hesitate. I'm new to it but can see that the people that frequent it have insight that may help. It's also a safe place to get support and understanding.