There's this habit I have that my hubby (heretofore known as J) likes to make fun of. For some reason, I announce the fact that I'm hungry, or hot, or cold... whatever. It never fails that he quotes an old commercial; I think it was a rose that said it... or some kind of flower. "I'm hungry! I'm hot! Someone's nibbling my roots!" (whine!) Well, this time it's Old Devil Depression. The temptation is there to say that it's not too bad... but I have absolutely no interest in doing anything. Whatever I manage to do is a horrible, dreaded task. Two days ago, we went out for a couple of hours. When we got home, I laid down and slept the rest of the day. I hate it when that happens! I hate it that J didn't wake me up, too! What I hate even worse is that he doesn't pick up the slack! Dang it! Why can't he fix something simple for dinner?? Instead, he'll eat a whole box of Graham crackers or fill up on peanut butter sandwiches... not even with jelly! YUK! Ok... why should I care how he likes his peanut butter? I'm hating this!

Why did I have to inherit this monster? Why didn't the old crone just keep it to herself? SHE seemed to enjoy it! The #$%&*!! (For those that don't know me, no, not my mother.)

I have an appt with my shrink Thursday. I just want to sleep till then. I don't want to think, I don't want to talk, I don't want to feel, I don't want to see!!! I don't want to have to wait for the dang meds to take effect! Nothing is ever easy for me! Yes, I finally got my retro check from disability (which I waited three years and five months for!) but for the most part, I'm afraid to spend it. Went to Home Depot so they could design my new kitchen. They came out and measured. Kept my appt with the designer. What did she say? They can't do it because it's a mobile home, for Pete's sake! What's the difference?? If someone knows, don't tell me! Asked my son, who works at Home Depot, if he wanted a side job. He didn't look very interested... and he has a habit of putting things off where his dad and I are concerned. Do I want this kid to do the work? I'm thinking NOT! I even offered going hourly wage!

Oh, hell!! I'm thinking! I'm stressing! WHO CARES?! I don't need this! I'd crawl under the covers with the dog I just got, but I've got a meatloaf in the oven! CRAP ON A STICK!! I ate chocolate cake and now my stomach hurts! Can't win for losing!