I'm sorry that you have recently suffered a break up. I've never been through one (never been in a relationship) but I have experienced unrequited love many times, and I know that it hurts.

The other people who answered did want to help you. They just couldn't help you in the way you want to be helped. Quitting your meds without a doctor's guidance is a bad idea. You could really hurt yourself, physically and psychologically. If you can't see your pdoc for 3 months, perhaps you can see your GP and s/he can help you. It wouldn't be as good as being guided by your pdoc, but at least you'd be medically supervised.

I understand what you mean about wanting to feel all of your emotions. Sometimes when I'm depressed (including right now, incidentally) I can't feel anything. Time passes, but I don't feel it. I don't feel alive, but I sure as h*ll want to! I was so touched by your description of what you want to feel that I wrote it down on a post-it note and added it to my inspirational quotes wall. My understanding is that the right meds will allow you to feel all of that, but in a way that allows you to remain in control of your actions.

Your boyfriend already hurt you. Please don't add to your pain by quitting your meds cold turkey. You deserve better than that.