My T works on this with me constantly. I'm not sure I can explain how he does this though as he never specifically says, "Okay, now lets do this or that to work on changing your mistaken beliefs." It is just the common thread that works under just about everything we do.
I know much of what we do is based in REBT/CBT techniques of holding up those beliefs to the light and testing them against reality. He really likes the book
The Anxiety & Phobia Workbook, not so much because anxiety and phobias are an issue for me. They're not. But in the middle of that book are two chapters on self-talk and mistaken beliefs that are really excellent in their presentation of these issues. In the mistaken beliefs chapter, it gives you 5 questions to work through to challenge your mistaken beliefs:
1. What is the evidence for this belief? Looking objectively at all of your life experience, what is the evidence that this is true?
2. Does this belief
invariably or
always hold true for you?
3. Does this belief look at the whole picture? Does it take into account both positive and negative ramifications?
4. Does this belief promote your well-being and/or peace of mind?
5. Did you choose this belief on your own or did it develop out of your experience of growing up in your family?
I have journalled through these questions for hours at a time many times over the last few years. It is a process. Often a very slow process. But over time it becomes harder and harder to deny looking at events and the beliefs that sprung from them rationally. My T often says those old beliefs are a bad habit of thinking I developed many years ago. I have the power to choose to stop believing those irrational thoughts and to instead replace my thinking with beliefs about myself and the events that have unfolded in my life with beliefs that are healthier and based in reality. It's not a quick process though. It takes time and determination to constantly stay aware of what you are thinking (which has been difficult for me as I repress my thinking automatically. My T calls me the queen of repression
).
So, be patient with yourself and the process. It won't happen overnight, but those old beliefs don't have to stay part of you forever. We don't have to stay stuck there.