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I feel like a mess some times. I cant talk when I am in rage thoughts, that is why I go quiet cuz I dont want to regret what I would say.
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beauflow, i used to do this very same thing. my T told me anger turned inward=depression. i have depression so i was only making it worse.
another thought i therapy you can talk re how to balance your feelings...meaning knowing to change the behavior and not go to extremes with your emotions. like black and white thinking..i'm guilty of that and working on it  .
there are many skills we can acquire to counteract some things you mentioned. one of those is boundary setting with others as well.
i'm glad you have a thoughtful bf. i can see somewhat where he may be coming from. the important thing tho is for you to learn to balance your life to serve you better, just like i try to do. takes practice but it will fulfill your life.
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Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle.
The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand
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