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Oct 15, 2011, 12:05 PM
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Member Since: Mar 2009
Location: So Cal
Posts: 3,342
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I have not yet "learned" how to forgive and I can honestly say at this time in my life that I don't want to. I think the reason I don't want to is that I cannot forget. The things that happened to me when I was younger revisit me multiple times a day....sometimes on the wings of thoughts....sometimes on the backs of smells, or in the hollowness of sound. Sometimes these things hide behind the bushes of my mind and pounce on me as I walk by....or they lie in wait for me in my dreams.
Until I can forget, I don't know that I will be able to forgive....and even with 6 years of therapy behind me, I still haven't been able to stave off the thoughts, triggers, memories, or flashbacks.
I often wonder, will I ever be able to. 
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