It sounds to me that you are doing all the right things Moose, though I am a little pissed off a your doctor. It seems to be that she should have called or had PER call, so that you didn't worry. If it comes to you being unable to control your suicidal thoughts, go to the hospital, it doesn't matter how many times you go in a week if you need it. Keep taking care of yourself.  
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It is said an Eastern monarch once charged his wise men to invent him a sentence, to be ever in view, and which should be true and appropriate in all times and situations. They presented him the words: "And this, too, shall pass away." How much it expresses! How chastening in the hour of pride! How consoling in the depths of affliction!
---"Address before the Wisconsin State Agricultural Society". Abraham Lincoln Online. Milwaukee, Wisconsin. September 30, 1859.
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