I don't think you blew it. I think that you are like many of us who are going through similar circumstances. Our age, gender and the current economy are factors in the anxiety associated with trying to make a job change right now.

Personally, I'm impressed that you have actually been applying for other jobs! While I updated my resume recently, I don't have the guts to actually send it out.

Many times over the past 5 years I have thought about changing jobs. Haven't moved beyond "thinking". I have a good salary, benefits, vacation time, and a commute that is under 1 mile.

Some days my job is fine - other days I hate it. Can't help but think it would be the same somewhere else...

You mention that your bosses adore you. Most days, mine adore me. But why?

I am choosing to just count the days until our mortgage is paid off. And then, I will retire from working.