From soupdragons post at the beginning of this thread -

I read that people talk about their inner child and I just wondered how people know there is one in there and how it feels to know it is there? For example is it something separate from you? Does it talk to you? Does it come and go? How are you aware of it? How did you discover it? And how do you work with it with T?

Thanks - Soup

-----

Soupdragon I know you visit the dissociative disorders board so Im wondering if the inner child idea is confusing to you because of all the talk about alters in the dissociative disorders board.

Alternate personalities and having inner children are different. At least thats the belief here where I live and work.

the belief here is that alternate personalities are parts of one self ie ones abilities, memories, emotions which ever is affected during great and extreme trauma that the host cannot deal with during those trauma times. those parts of self are mentally split off and walled off in what ever ways that will enable the host to survive. some peoples splits and walls take the form of playgrounds, mythical places, houses, rooms. The host separates these parts of self enough those parts of self take on a life of their own, sharing the same body but having their own ways to live and do things and how they think.

a host can know their alters are there by many ways - diagnostic testing, someone tells them, or they may have co consciousness so they can here the alters voices and with some they can know what some of the alters are doing.

Alternate personalities do not die, go away or forced away. when its time they integrate - merge with the host and become one with the host working together as one.

here the belief with the mental health community here is that the inner child is a mind set. kind of like when you feel sadness you are in a depressed state of mind. when you are happy it is said you are in a joyful state of mind.

well the inner child state of mind is when someone feels like a child.. it may be watching your child on the playground brings to your mind the feelings you had when you were a child playing on a playground. it can be hearing someone yell about things makes you feel like that child again getting reprimanded for wrong doing by a parent.. anything that makes you feel like you are a child is said to be you being in touch with your inner child.

for some people they cant break free of this feeling like a child at the inappropriate times so they need to have therapy where they can revisit those childhood times that are interfering with your adult life.

doing this is called working on your inner child, therapy for inner child work and other names for this kinds of therapy.

how do people know when they have or are feeling their inner child - by paying attention to how they feel. to put it simply if you feeling like you did when you were a child thats your inner child.

unlike alternate personalities inner children can be killed off, forced to go away or what ever the person needs to happen that will enable them to get on with their life and not let those childhood memories, emotions get in the way.

how do they die or go away. its just a matter of wanting it to happen. its like knowing when is the right to allow yourself to cry or not, laugh or not. you just make a decision that your childhood problems are not going to interfere anymore and then follow it through by reminding yourself you are an adult now you dont need to act or have child reactions anymore. with enough practice and determination it makes it so.

some people mentally "kill" off their inner children in order to go on with their adult life, others may need to shut that inner child in a mental room somewhere, I even had a client who buried their inner child in order to be able to go on with their adult life without having to have problems with their childhood emotions getting in the way.

can you talk to your inner child sure you can thats part of what therapy for inner children and inner child work is. its real easy to do. the next time you find you are feeling like you did when you were a child just sit down and say what ever it is that you would have wanted someone else to say to you when you were a child feeling like this..

example one time after all my alters were integrated I was having a really rough day and just wanted to run away from it all. I sat down and thought about what I would have wanted my parents to say to me when I was a child running away from my problems...

Come here amanda. sit here with me, let me hold you for a moment, problems only get bigger if you run from them but they get smaller and go away if you do something about them, whats the problem let me help you..

use your imagination say anything that will comfort you and that childhood feeling you are having.

yes the inner child feeling comes and goes. its like if you ride a bike today you will always remember riding the bike so sometimes you will feel like you did today when you ride your bike.

because you remember your childhood there will always be things that remind you of when you were a child and how you felt then.

how did my therapist do inner child work with me.. she had me close my eyes and picture myself as a child and had me tell that image of me as a child things I needed to hear when I was that child.