That is so hard PtE.

{{{{{planningtoexist}}}}}

I understand how you feel. it sounds like you don't have any doubts about liking him as a therapist it is just that these issues get in the way.

First i think the best thing you are doing is to talk to him directly about this. If there is anyway to "integrate the two" as you say hopefully he will be able to help you work through it. it doesn't sound like you want to change therapists, you do trust him and you do feel comfortable with him and i assume you think he is helping you.

i hope he can help you and i hope you can keep an open conversation about this with him. it may be most important for you to get past this with him right now, if that is the case make sure he knows that.

i think it is very good to think of him as a friend if that makes it easier to talk to him. try to remember that as a friend, he is doing what any good friend would do, and that is to help you as best he can. We are your friends and the best we can do is offer you our love and support and some suggestions and advice on occasion. But he, as your friend, has the advantage of his years of education, training, experience, and knowledge to bring to the table to help you. If he is bringing these dbt techniques to you it is because, as your friend, it is the best way he knows how to help. If he were to hold back on that, he wouldn't be doing his best to help you, and that would make him less of a friend.

on a more practical note, do you think it would help if he were more straightfoward about the sources of his treatment? Remember that even if he is using dbt techniques, he still sees you as an individual and it is not as if he was a robot reading off a script. i am sure he is bringing the techniques that he thinks will help you best. if he were to present that part of your sessions, spending time listening and talking to you and then saying "i think these dbt techniques might help you with this, so i suggest this and this and this" do you think that would make it easier or harder for you?

this is a complicated problem but i am sure you can work through it, and i hope this therapist is able to work with you to get past this.

-- The world is what we make of it --
-- Dave
-- <A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.idexter.com>http://www.idexter.com</A>