To Dreamy01, You mentioned that you had an unpleasant childhood , marked by loneliness and that you have a reluctance to let got of it.

Can u see a therapist regarding the "past" issues. I think it bears examining. I too have a similar response in my adult life in that I had a miserable isolated childhood with many issues and yet I look back fondly at what others would cringe at. I long for the lack of responsibilty that a child has. And of course I suffer from depression.

A therapist has told me it has to do with being stuck emotionally in childhood for a variety of reasons. Overall, the theme I got was that living and dwelling on that past is just not psychologically healthy. The present and future are being sacrificied. The fight with depression can't be won dwelling or thinking on the past when in fact we are ignoring the present. There is a book called the Psychology of Time, relatively new, I forget the author---it has helped me alot. It makes it seem obvious how wrong I was thinking (regarding the past)

I hope I gave u alittle insight.