On the other hand... the part you play, the reality you create, they are a deception and therefore a lie, and in the long run creating a false reality is harmful towards the partner, because for her her emotions are real, her hopes are real, etc... For your wife I believe it is harmful to live an illusion, involving hope that you may understand her one day.

Moreover, because of the lack of empathy, she may believe to understand you, but you cannot understand her. Chances are high that you cross her boundaries often because of low impulse control and narcism, even unwillingly, because you lack understanding of her emotional well being, her needs (which may differ from her wants). She may not even recognize for herself the deep wounds this may inflict upon her. And you are unable to see it, because you lack the empathy for it.

A relationship between healthy individuals is not easy to begin with. Empathy, respecting boundaries, taking responsibility, ... are important keys to make any living arrangement work long term. You are incapable of any of those key elements. That does not make you necessarily evil, but dangerous and harmful to the ultimate wellbeing of any person who has to live with you.