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Thanks guys for your thoughts!
He has said we can take it all slow. I met him on a fetish website during my manic episode and its been a constant buzz in my life. I know I am feeling mixtures of excitement but anxiousness. The problem is my friend doesn't know anything about my fetish. I am embarrassed about it. I don't like it, but its who I am at the moment. The guy is booking a room at the hotel in town and im going to be staying 1 night.... he is only here for 2 days. I have a Psych app on his 2nd day so I am thinking of staying with him the whole 1st day and night and then saying good bye to him. People wouldn't understand me in RL if I spoke to them. I have managed to "ignore" 2 other guys I was speaking to. I hate when I get like this. I wish I had a huge alarm that rang sirens when I do stupid stuff like this. Been limiting my time online so not to land myself in even more turmoil.
My Support Worker said on Friday I am making myself more ill as I hide a lot of stuff. People wouldn't understand me and judge me on why I do these things. Grr!!
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