Nuts? Um, yeah, pretty much! (Sorry!) I do think it is smart on your part to realize that you couldn't possibly love him, not actually knowing him. Especially considering that people present themselves however they want on the internet. And let's face it, there's a LOT of b.s. out there. And even if everything they say is true, it's only the good parts. There's SO much that worries me about your situation that it's hard to know where to start. Length of time communicating, the big age difference (sorry, creeps me out), that you've spent so much money on him, that he says he loves you after such a short time and not knowing you -- he either uses the word "love" far too casually (and therefore w/o meaning) and/or is baiting. I know you've realized in the past that talking with guys on the internet has shown itself to be problematic for you and that it's something you've been working on. I do realize that it is far to easy to forget pitfalls when caught up in the moment, but it's definitely worth trying to see this in a rational light, because it's got red flags all over it.

(It is only fair to confess that I am somewhat hypocritical... I met my BF on the computer (not how you'd think, it was a highly unusual situation). We did communicate for far longer. Even trying to be rational and skeptical, checking out as much as I could from sources other than him and so forth, there is SO MUCH I learned later that would have brought me _solidly_ down to earth. A place I was decidedly not. I kept questioning whether I was hypomanic and convinced myself I wasn't. I was, and can see that now. But then? No way.)

Sooo... Maybe I'm coming off as a hypocritical hard***, but having learned the hard way, it seemed worth speaking up. Even not going the worst way it could have, it would have gone a whole lot differently, as they say, "if I knew then what I know now" ...

Don't do it.

(Updated in light of your new post: Being one night doesn't make this any better of a situation. To be totally blunt, the fetish and 'IRL people wouldn't understand' thing is just rationalizing. You know this deep down.)