I really sympathize with you. I spent 2 years in a therapy relationship with someone who was unable to deal with my specific issues due to her own personal issues. I accomplished little with her in therapy. I was really attached to her and didn't have the courage to end our relationship. I needed to work on those really hard things and now with a different therapist I am able, but I lost several years time (and lots of money).

Honestly, your therapist shouldn't have said this to you without consulting with someone or having a plan as it's not your responsibility to take care of/worry about her at all--this is really unprofessional. My therapist did this to me numerous times and it tore me up and I thought I could handle hearing this, but it set me backwards and created so much guilt. I'd strongly recommend asking for a referral. I wouldn't ask her to share personal details because it's not your place to know this information or feel like you need to process it. If she hasn't worked through her own issues (which perhaps just came up?), it's unethical for her to continue to work with patients who want to talk about sexual abuse and it honestly needs to be a disclaimer up front.

Believe me, I know that it's hard to change therapists (I've had to do it far too often and will have to do it again next August and am already dreading it). But you can't control your issues and what's coming up for you and you shouldn't have to filter what you're saying in therapy. You deserve to work with someone who can talk to you about what you really need help with. As close and connected we become to our therapists (and I genuinely have loved my last 4 therapists), it still is a professional relationship. Your therapist is unable to fulfill this for you, so it would be best for you in the long run to find another therapist, as hard as this is to hear. I wish someone would have told me this. I lost a couple of years of my life feeling guilt and not working on issues that were crippling my ability to function.

I wish you the best of luck in this very difficult situation you shouldn't have been put in. The sooner you can address this and start to make the change, the sooner your healing will begin. You deserve someone who will be able to help you deal with these very difficult issues without making them more complicated.