thanks to all who responded. see, i didnt go to see her for abuse issues. i went for addiction problems. getting off the addiction apparently caused the abuse issues to surface for me. so they just started coming up. now i find out that she doesnt see sexual abuse clients. i didnt know that in the beginning. shes been working with me all this time, and ive been calling her when i have trouble with memories or panic attacks. she never once said she wouldnt see me. and she never said i couldnt share this stuff with her, but once i asked her about it, she was honest and said it was one of her limitations. i bet she would have not said anything if i didnt ask. and i feel bad. i feel glad that she stuck with me - she knew that the one time i saw a counselor she told me she couldnt see me anymore because she didnt deal with the issues i was having - they were out of her leauge, and it devestated me. so i belive she was trying not to hurt me. but i feel i dont want to cause her pain. sigh. i dont want to see someone else. i dont know if i can go through that again. maybe i can work around it and just deal with stuff and not tell her the memories? i see her tomorrow. i know i wont sleep much tonight. i hate this. thanks again.