I'm no doctor but I don't think it's PTSD. I know I was depressed before, I just held it in and bottled it up. I am not saying it didn't effect me. I didn't see crazy combat, but I didn't sit behind a desk. I was a gunner, I saw bodies, firefights, our base would get attacked every once in a while. Almost hit a huge IED but someone else found it in front of us just in time, so I got really lucky. I think about that one sometimes if it went differently.. But it is quite a change constantly having to be scanning and looking for suspicious activities and indicators for IED's. But like I said, I was depressed before.

Family: me and my mother dont get along well. I love her, she loves me but we argue a lot so we give each other space now, and she moved when I was in afghanistan so since ive been back ive lived in an apartment with my friend. She is married, i have a step father and step brother (5 years old) My real dad lives a state away. He comes down when he can to see me and his father, but he passed away recently. I was very close to him and grew up. They actually hid it from me while I was deployed to keep it off my mind, so when I got back I found out he was sick with cancer. But at least I got to see him twice before he passed, i'm happy for that. No crazy family issues though, the usual. I love my family, both sides. a little note would be my mothers father, and my uncle both are alcoholics.

I'm going to try and cut the alcohol off... Lets see how it goes. Any more questions please feel free to ask, and thank you for the welcomes, and for sitting down and reading a strangers feelings.

I'm getting off for the night, take care all, talk to you soon.