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Old Oct 17, 2011, 01:54 AM
SakuraLi SakuraLi is offline
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Member Since: Oct 2010
Posts: 210
I've been here on the forums a while venting about my 8 year relationship with my SZ boyfriend. I've agonized, complained, asked for advice. Trying to find a reason to stay with him. I guess because there was no reason to stay I wanted to make up a reason. I respect him for the man he has become but he has become a workaholic, going to school in another city, it feels like he's pushed me out of his life, mostly whether unintentional or intentional I don't truly know. He says its not but I don't know. I feel unimportant to him at this point, I'm going to see when I can video chat with him and tell him I am unhappy and making the choice to leave him. Even though his SZ seems to be in remission I don't know what's really going on in his head. I'm hoping the talk with him either reveals his true intentions and we reconcile and move forward and he will make more time for me or I WILL leave him this time. I feel like I've been too patient with him and put up with all the times he's pushed my needs aside which is most of the time. That was the biggest mistake of my life to discount my own needs for him. For any woman with a SZ boyfriend or husband less than 8 years. Think long and hard if your needs get walked all over which they probably will. Don't stay it's not healthy. If you have needs for a true partnership an equal partner then falling in love with someone with SZ is not the best life choice. I don't mean to hurt anyone's feelings but this is the reality for me and if I can steer someone away from a potentially damaging experience that's what I will do. There is hope of course but much consideration needs to take place. Self-preservation is paramount in relationship and some people have ignored that such as myself and it has gotten me no where. Don't get me wrong my bf has never gone anything bad to me per se. Just pouring all my time, energy and everything I have into helping him never had any benefit for me. All that investment has not paid me in any major dividends. We all know relationships are suppose to be win win, I've have win lose mostly. Also on top of SZ I truly believe my bf is a narcissist and a a con man. He only was around when he needed me but he is never there for me when I need him these days. This has been going on fir a year and a half. Anyway I hope he has a great life without me because I'm sick of having given everything time and support wise and not getting bearing anything in return. The only thing I can about him was he was an master sweet talker and nice which is good but what does that really do for a relationship? Not much....I need to cut my loses and move on if he's not serious.