Sunrise, I think in some situations it can help to hear the words too, but since I've explored the many kinds of love in therapy, and the different feelings that are evoked in each, the words are much less important to me now. It can be too easy to get all caught up in attributing one specific meaning to the words "I love you" even though the way it's spoken and the way it's heard may be very different. I guess that's why I rely more on actions now, because unlike some other languages, the English language doesn't have different words for different kinds of love. And I'm not so sure that hearing the words will put your mind at ease if you have doubts about someone's love for you. I tend to think those doubts tell us something about ourselves or about the other person, and the words won't necessarily alleviate the doubts. Maybe we have doubts because we feel unlovable, or maybe we have doubts because we aren't being treated well well by someone who's supposed to love us. Either way, the words can give us a false sense of security (He says he loves me so it must be true even though he hurts me) or they can lead us to blame ourselves if we still don't feel loved by people who say they love us.