I hear you about the unpredictable nature of how you are feeling and that it would be nice to be leveled out. I hate managing it myself.

I was thinking however, that I don't know that normal exists for anyone. With changes in mood, thoughts and feelings for everyone, it is just a matter to what degree, no one has normal in their lives, BP diagnosis or not. Perhaps a normal routine but not in how they feel or for their emotions in how they react to the events of their days and their thoughts as they are constantly changing. You are not alone but it is possible to work with it instead of against it.

It was once recommended to me to focus on not the day, let alone the days ahead in what it will be, but purely on (as some mentions above) the 'moment at hand' and to find a balance for it. Can't know what will happen next and spending time focusing on anything other than the present, not how we want things to be, or going over the past that cannot be changed is a waste of our precious time that we have now that can be used to combat how the thoughts, moods, and feelings are right now. We don't have to sit idly by but have a choice in how we cope with them. Let the feelings come but we can choose whether we pay attention to them, act on them, or just let them go. They are feelings, not facts, so we can choose how we want them to affect us.

Normal can become a pattern defined for us in how we want to deal with what comes our way, but not a state of being. Find ways to balance it. I don't know it you work with a T or counselor, but they can help to normalize patterns and methods to combat it. It is possible. Hang in there!