It sounds like you and T have worked through alot of things and I get the point that SA wasn't the reason you saw her and it has only become an issue later. Sounds like your T has helped you alot with these other issues and so I can appreciate you not wanting to hurt her and not wanting to see someone else - maybe you and yor T have a good enough relationship to discuss this and if you are not ready to work with another T now, maybe it is something you can work with your current T with so the possibility is there for the future.

I really fight the feelings of dependency on my T - like you the thought of going through things with someone else is really daunting. However I tell myself when I am ready, I am going to seek out another T, both to prove I am not dependent and can indeed survive without my current wonderful T, but also to challenge that bit of me that does not want to talk about these things with someone else. I think if I can achieve that it will be a real measure of how far I have come - definitely not ready to do it yet though. Thinking if you, hope you did get some sleep - Soup