when i was trying to get sober some years ago i kept finding me relapsing. i would say, how can this be happening again? i don't advocate my early years in attempting to get sober but the reality is that many of us had to keep beating ourselves up to get it right. i used barghaining chips-i'll keep sober unless this thing happens, etc. and many other skewed thoughts. thank goodness i was finally able to see myself as i truly was and change. this article is part 2 of the blog.
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This blog will explore expectations and resentments.
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Expectations
Falling short of expectations or the feeling that the alcoholic/addict is unable to fulfill what is expected can open the floodgates to relapse. Whether it is your expectations as a friend or family member or the expectations of the alcoholic/addict, expectations can become unrealistic. After all, your loved one can get swept up with that initial fast or easy recovery.
An early sense of comfort can be a honeymoon period that often falsely revolves around a happy work environment or a fairy-tale relationship. Expectations seem fulfilled at this stage, yet when the initial glow of that honeymoon subsides and reality's imperfections set in, your loved one might not know how to deal with the frustration or disappointment; hence, they may turn back to the only way they know to ensure comfort: getting high or intoxicated. It is crucial for the alcoholic/addict to keep a watchful eye on their expectations as well as the family.
Remember that the alcoholic/addict may take on Herculean tasks in an effort to prove to themselves and others how smart, strong or good they are -- or in an attempt to make up lost time due to their addiction. Hence, they might not be able to help themselves, but to over- extend in unrealistic expectations.
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http://www.huffingtonpost.com/carole...b_1013361.html
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Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle.
The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand
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