i am sorry for your loss...but can you try & handle it on your own first...see how it feels without automatically reaching for t. you have done good in not reaching out ...so you can do it.

in life there will always be some loss...& there may not always be a t handy to reach out & call...maybe that loss will be a friend, pet, job, etc...

i am not saying calling is wrong...but i can always say my t will be an expert in what ever crisis i am having (she's a phd..& a t...hell she's trained to handle it all)...but i (stumpy) will never learn to heal if i don't try to handle things on my own first...it's like a bird learning to fluy, kid learning to walk etc. i know she is there if i can't do it.

i had a dear friend last year who suicided. i tried to handle in on my own for most of the day, gave it all i had before calling her...because realistically it was my loss to process & no matter what it was going to hurt like hell...there was going to be pain...she might make it less painful but there was no way to ease the sting. she knew it, i knew it.

she asked why i didn't call her immediately...& i told her that...her response was that it was true..especially over the phone there really isn't much she could say or do to make it less painful. she could listen but it was indeed something i would have to process.

so maybe i suggest process your loss for a bit.....your t is not handy...meaning she is not on your trip. she can not be there to hold your hand, or make it all better...the loss is hard but eventually we all face loss. sit with it. be gentle to yourself, & celebrate the friend you knew. make peace with it.

make your t proud by working thru this before you call..or at least trying.

stumpy