Natayla, Thanks, It is true. And I like to think I always have my kids best interest in mind, I too had a severely Bipolar 1 father, and I like to think that I am not so much like him. Sometimes you need it spelled out haha

Although I will try to do the right thing, I just cannot understand why being semi stable does not feel good or right.. I have been stable before, so what's the problem, should be a breeze. I feel like I am lost in here or I am not me in my own skin, I am not real good at describing things, but it feels really uncomfortable, I am not sure what is missing.