Pc may be an aftermarket repair shop, but what a shop it is. I don't know why people (including you) make a distinction between this and "real life." Seems real enough to me, and I may even speak for others in saying that your postings have helped me...really....in real life.

I'm not trying to minimize your pain, but we're taking the steps to deal with the damages that have been inflicted, and I think it's also fair to say that there are many like us who are seeking these answers and the roots of this pain. I guess Philip Larkin, the British poet said it succinctly enough: "They f#@ck you up your Mum and Dad, they may not mean to, but they do."

The realization that she didn't really like you.....is a bomb. It's hit in my life too. The realization in my case that my mom basically traded the emotional health of her children for financial security was a big grenade landing in my life. It takes a long time to sift through this....regardless of how much you "knew" for how long.
Take care of yourself as you come to these realizations...it's really exhausting, at least that's what I found.

I can relate to your "real" self being reserved, withdrawn, silent, without friends...always seeking to minimize (or avoid wherever possible) all human contact. And yet....here you are....in a forum...

Blessings,
MCL