I've read and heard more than once that when talking to your child when they are misbehaving, you HAVE to stay calm and unemotional, or else they see your weakness and vulnerability and see no reason to take you seriously.

I have no idea on how to just make myself pull back and stop the tirades and lectures. My tone is always somewhat irritated and agitated from 'the get-go.'

We mostly do time-outs and taking away things and privileges. It's mostly the just-turned 6 year old daughter I have these issues with, as opposed to the 2 year old daughter.

But no matter what consequence I give her, she still continues the behavior. So I guess it's imperative that I calm down and not give her a reaction when she pushes my buttons.

I know I should just put her in her room, and walk away for a time. I can, and rarely do it, but will try to more.

The worst times are when we're getting ready for school, and she has a meltdown over not letting me get the rats nests out of her hair, or that I insist on blow drying her hair at least some before the bus comes. I know I could just get the tangles out the night before, but it's so hard to make myself do everything I have to to get them ready for bed...long story; got to wrap this up.

The blow-drying is one of the biggest issues. I know I could just let it go, but then surely she'll see it as where she's gotten away with the misbehavior; with defying me.

Oh yeah - of course, it's power struggles day in and day out with her. Mainly because of my ocd, and my strong aversion to wanting her to do what I ask/tell her to do, RIGHT when I ask her. This is one of my big sayings I say to her ad nauseam, but I can't let go thinking that and requiring that of her, no matter what.

So, I really hope some of you can comment with any similar experiences, and any advice. Thanks.