I have sometimes identified this place within me as my inner critic from h&ll. I'm sure that it is a product of childhood abuse, in that I believed that I could somehow stop it if I could just figure out what to do or not to do differently. This was not an overt dynamic in the abuse that I experienced but I think it was some magical or fantastical thinking on my part that there must be something I could do to stop it. At the same time, I grew up with parents who very much taught me that I had the brains to do anything I wanted, supported me in school, and gave me the love I needed. It has only been fairly recently that I've been aware enough of this critic that I could disengage from beating myself up when I realized I was doing it. And I must say that life is better with a little dose of self acceptance.

I do think this this internal critic has served a worthwhile purpose, she helped me to achieve in school and in the career I wanted, and has helped me stay on track professionally and treat my clients with the respect that they deserve. I'd like to be able to find a way for her to be more useful when I write, right now she's pretty much just a sh&t stirrer.

Anne