((LydiaB)) - I'm sorry you're struggling with self esteem and feeling so bad about yourself. I'm having a very bad day and feeling disappointed and wondered how to answer your post - kind of like the blind leading the blind. I didn't want to leave it unanswered though. When we're depressed its common to have bad thoughts and put ourselves down - its like we're our own worst enemy. We wouldn't tolerate others saying these kind of statements therefore we shouldn't put ourselves down.

Beholden has a thread started in this forum and it caught my eye. I also know I'm not exercising or eating as healthy since I'm not happy. You have to start somewhere though...even if its small baby steps. Go ahead and take your dog for a daily walk. Save some money and go buy those toppers for your blinds. Make a short list and try to do 1 or 2 things. Some days you might not do any and that's okay too. Maybe you can get the book Beholden recommends and start small, so you can feel accomplished. All human beings matter and please don't think of yourself as a parasite. I hope you can do some small things so you can start feeling more positive.