I've been thinking the same thing myself recently, though you say it so much more coherently than the way these thoughts have been circling around in my head. My therapist and I have been connecting so deeply recently--the week before last we exchanged "I love yous" aloud for the first time. I had a bad experience with my last therapist, so it makes this connection all the sweeter. I just can't/don't want to imagine my life without her (another mother abandonment of sorts). The unrequited part is hurtful enough, but my problem is that in the back of my mind I'm already thinking about having to end with her at the end of next summer because I will be moving. I'm trying to think about the present and enjoy our time together, but I can't help thinking about the excruciating pain of losing her in 10 months. Reading on PC about people who have been seeing their therapists for 20 years, I'm so envious and wish, wish, wish my living situation were more stable and my therapist could actively be in my life for the next 20 years. I know this topic will come up as the time nears, but I also don't want to bring it up too soon bc I don't want her to distance herself to protect me.