Quote:
Originally Posted by me.c
I just want to know, is this really about this particular person or is it just something like i don't feel loved by my mother or something Freudian like that. I say this because i find myself wanting to be babied by older women in everyday life. And for them to kind of see me as an endearing little girl and stuff. There was this woman i knew (in her 40s) and i actually once had a dream that i was kissing her, and i played out a little fantasy for awhile in my head of me and her sitting at her house, watching movies and stuff. Well, there's a lot more i could say but i'm sure you get the gist.
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I was similar at your age, with the exception of not having a specific celebrity I was focused on. It is all about "you" and your background, not the celebrity; the celebrity is just a focus for you. I lived in a fantasy world of my own making, instead of focusing on someone in the actual world; I didn't really think I had a problem until I was 20, a junior in college, and decided to get rid of the fantasy world and people and that upset me, the characters I had created were too real to me and it made me cry to "get rid" of them?
I started therapy about then, for anxiety. I was a shy child and anxious teen, a bit of a loner, average grades, no real hobbies or interests or special abilities (except, I didn't realize, a great imagination :-) and my mother had died when I was young and my stepmother and I did not work together very well mothering me.
I did a LOT of reading of fantasy/good young adult books and books about young adults and that helped me learn I wasn't so alone, all teens have to figure out various growing up problems and how to get out in the world and be themselves and books like
The Last Unicorn, by Peter S. Beagle, and
Taran Wanderer, the fourth book in the "Chronicles of Prydain" series by Lloyd Alexander really helped me. Nowadays (I'll be 61 next week :-) I read L. E. Modesitt, Jr.'s series ("The Imager" series and the first half dozen of "The Saga of Recuse" series and most recently, I just started on the "Corean Chronicals" series) and a lot of historical romance novels about young women but it is therapy that really helped me the most.