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Originally Posted by TheByzantine
Reality is democratic. If enough people perceive a concept to be true, the concept is promoted to the objective. While I believe a falling tree makes a sound despite my absence, I do so based on faith, a subjective concept since I am unable to independently verify a sound was made.
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Originally Posted by evergrowing
The tree analogy is solved by the way a person defines 'sound'. If a person defines sound as a physical event including soundwaves, then the person will argue there needs to be no listener for there to be sound. If a person regards 'sound' as a listerener's experience, then the person will argue the tree made no sound without a listener.
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A relativist, an absolutist, and a universalist don't hear a tree fall in the woods... Perhaps I should incite a falling tree debate...
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For me 'evil' actions are harmful ones with the intent to harm. I do not see the legal comparison as truly relevant. Yes, plenty of psychopaths dabble in the illegal, but not all. You wondered yourself though the impact of your disorder within your personal relations. So, the question remains whether you are at the very least 'harmful', even if not 'evil' to those personally connected to you.
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Which begs the question, do all psychopaths cause harm by nature, intentionally or otherwise? And can we control our actions?
I brought up the case because psychopathy, at its very core, is merely the lack of a well developed conscience and certain emotions. It isn't something we can control and it isn't a set of damaging behaviours (although certain behaviours may contribute to the diagnosis of psychopathy). It's a status, essentially. And, as the Supreme Court decided in the Robinson case, it is unethical to punish someone for a status. By that logic, a psychopath cannot be punished for being a psychopath. He (or she) can only be judged by his (or her) actions.
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On the other hand... the part you play, the reality you create, they are a deception and therefore a lie, and in the long run creating a false reality is harmful towards the partner, because for her her emotions are real, her hopes are real, etc... For your wife I believe it is harmful to live an illusion, involving hope that you may understand her one day.
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How so? My affection toward her is genuine. I do honestly care for her, even if I have selfish intentions; i.e., enjoying the pleasure of her company. And it makes her happy.
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Moreover, because of the lack of empathy, she may believe to understand you, but you cannot understand her. Chances are high that you cross her boundaries often because of low impulse control and narcism, even unwillingly, because you lack understanding of her emotional well being, her needs (which may differ from her wants). She may not even recognize for herself the deep wounds this may inflict upon her. And you are unable to see it, because you lack the empathy for it.
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Perhaps. Fortunately, my therapist helps me with this, and I have many outlets for my impulses. As for my wife, even my mother-in-law has commented on the fact that Nikki's boundaries are much stronger now than before she met me. And my mother-in-law hates me.
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A relationship between healthy individuals is not easy to begin with. Empathy, respecting boundaries, taking responsibility, ... are important keys to make any living arrangement work long term. You are incapable of any of those key elements. That does not make you necessarily evil, but dangerous and harmful to the ultimate wellbeing of any person who has to live with you.
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I am capable of certain emotions. When my boundaries are violated, I experience irritation. I can logically deduce that other people experience similar emotions (probably to more extreme degrees) in similar situations. The rest I learn from observing human behaviour. I can also logically deduce that the best way to maintain our relationship is to do things which make my wife happy, like not be a selfish jackass. Many a philosopher has made clear that where oppression exists, there will be war. That holds true for relationships as well.
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Originally Posted by buddhablessd
Well written and articulated;
Sounds to me like anger also, which is usually from 1.Hurt 2.fear 3. fustration 4.injustice.
I'm guessing hurt, thats the candy store of anger for most of us.
You sound overwhelmed to me. I would , if it was me, step back from societal responsibility, whereever possible that is, and start dealing with inner unresolved issues, through maybe groups, maybe traditional therapy, do a journal daily, learn and practice meditation/spiritual practice(my candystore)and pray to your god.
If nothing else, you can help "find yourself",gain quiet time, and relieve some stress. BB
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Maybe hurt. Probably overwhelmed. I wrote this thread quite some time ago, and I was, at the time, inflicted with a temporary moody. It usually happens when I'm reminded of the gravity of my condition, mostly the mere fact that there are things I'm not capable of experiencing and/or understanding. To use a rather tired cliché, it's like a blind man trying to understand colours. It is, at times, very frustrating. But, like a blind man, I get over it and learn to use what abilities I have.