I'm constantly trying to make up for lost time. And dealing with the inevitable depression that results when I cannot do everything on the list, which is an impossibility. Instead I should be setting reasonable goals, with no rewards for completion such as the drinks we used to gift ourselves for completion of this that or the other. Work should be it's own reward, regardless of whether we finish the kitchen in one day or simply clean the downstairs thoroughly so that the work will be possible.

Resentments are mentioned in that AOL article you posted. Funny I never really drank "at" someone, though I have long had a great deal of hostility to my father. I never blamed anyone for feeling the way I did (do still at times). No, I was just determined to go it alone and forget the horror of my brother's suicide, which of course ,from the outset, represented just another big damned excuse to not stay sober. My brother killed himself quickly, I was determined to take my time with it, but we both had the same goal. Today is a new day; I wish you and everyone here another sober 24.