Hi happy. I don't know that my advice will help. I am struggling with similar issues with my father. I know how you are feeling. I have severed all contact with him, however my mother who I still have a relationship with is still married to him so it is rough. I have a lot of emotions/anger to still deal with, but I am trying. I think you need to think of yourself. Take care of and do what is best for you.

Have you sought the help of a therapist? I never thought I would talk to a therapist but I finally did about 4 months ago and it is helping me a lot. Still lots of work to do though.

Take care of yourself.