(((((((scorpiosis!!))))))))

Wow, it SO stinks when T misses the mark like that. T and I have had some of those "misses", and it feels SO awful when it happens.

The only thing I know to do is to be honest and tell T what happened. And it's OKAY to have feelings about it. It's GOOD to have feelings about it. You don't need to wait until you're level-headed.

The October before last, I was STRUGGLING and T could not connect with it. I don't know why. I felt like I was making it so clear, but he was just so out of tune with me. I saw him twice a week, and it went on session after session. Finally, in one session, I just asked over and over "can you HEAR ME? are you HEARING WHAT I AM SAYING?" So not level-headed, really. And, finally, he heard me, and the minute he did, things felt a little better. Sometimes we just need to be seen, and heard.

I know with my T, his own stuff gets in the way sometimes...he's hurt, or tired, or in some weird counter-transference moment. And I get that...he's just a person, like me. AND I still think it's okay to point it out when it happens, to at least give my point of view about how it feels, and to tell him what I need. And if he doesn't hear me the first time, it's okay to tell him again. Because what I DO trust is that he wants to help me heal.

I'm so sorry you didn't get what you needed today, especially with everything you have going on. I wonder if you could have another session this week to try again?