Well there are some things that you can do that might help. These might be a little generic because it is hard to tell exactly what might help but some things that have worked for me....
1) Focus on keeping your own schedule and your own life apart from being in a relationship, keep seeing your friends or family, they can help with giving advice too....
2) Realize that you can lend a hand to help but you can not fix other people's problems for them. Sometimes people go through a hard time in their lives while happening to find someone they care about a lot, and that's not a reason to quit or give up, but you might have to prepare to be ok not being able to help (always).
3) Enjoy the good times you do get together, since that is the whole point, to be happy!
4) Forgive yourself for feeling bad. You said that you are "making 99% of it up," which sounds very negative and pessimistic. I hope you can be less hard on yourself about this.
Good luck!!!!!
Quote:
Originally Posted by ACanthony
I've been going out with 'Sara' for almost 4 months. We both really care about each other. She's a good girlfriend and I enjoy her company, friendship, etc. However, Sara has a LOT on her plate right now. We both acknowledge that she may even be better off NOT in a relationship. But we would definitely not want to break up with each other because we do see a bright future ahead of us and we understand we just have to be patient now. Since Sara has a lot on her plate (let's just say she has a difficult home environment and had emotional problems stemming from a past relationship) sometimes she's not able to always give me the time I need. I might have phrased that wrong. Okay, she's a very good girlfriend overall but there are sometimes when she isn't a good girlfriend. My problem/question is this: I need to learn how to not take things so personally and understand that her issues are exactly that: her issues. I'm such a happy person but when I think too much about certain things involving this relationship it does get me upset. When I am in one of these moods I do blame Sara for causing me to feel this way yet after I get over it I realize I made 99% of the problem up in my brain. Does anyone have any tips on just thinking less about these problems? Thank you  |