To BabyIrish, Some of my history is similar to yours (and countless others) and this is how it concluded in therapy.

I was raised by a distant, cruel and emotionally abusive mother. Of the therapists I've seen, the most experienced by far said that because of her I basically yearn for a mother and always will. A mother that loves me. I am 47 and continue to have infatuations with cold distant women who I believe I am attracted to. The behavior is just the subconscious quest to find and connect with the mother I never really had.

The solution was for the therapist (it was a male) to act as a surrogate loving parent in therapy and get me out of that yearning. He said that the hole left in me emotionally was common and that it would not go away. For financial reasons as well I couldn't continue. Other therapists said they could not perform this type of therapy.

My point is that you seem to really yearn for your mother to show u love. Each person shows love differently. Some with gifts, others are verbally or physically expressive. Others perform tasks and chores to show love. Have you ever really confronted her and asked why she treats her daughter as she does? Do you make her aware of how harmful her words are? Did your last therapist have any insight into her behavior? If she can't be a loving parent and stop the abusive behavior maybe a future therapist could pursue what mine attempted with me. You said the therapists fee right now was a problem but maybe in the future you could inquire. This path/therapy may apply to you too.