oh, granite you are just extra hurt BECAUSE you missed her. its so hard after a break to need to feel a connection, and not getting it. let your hsuband in...if he thinks you need to go to the clinic, he's probably right.

can you explain this further? did you walk away early one session, and when you came back she said "Don't ever do that again or else I won't see you?" If so...that is a boundary that I don't think most T's keep. They know their clients are going to get upset and bolt. I've left early, and felt extremely guilty about it, but it was ok. I don't think your T wants you to always bolt, but I can't imagine her not worryign about you. There was this one session when I was going through a lot of stuff and not handling it well when my T said, "Velcro, I worry about you." I think my jaw dropped to the floor. YOU worry about me?! WHY! I'm just a client. Of course i didn't say that, I just looked shocked and moved on. I definitely have trust issues with my T, but not as extensive as yours. Can you see that if I was completely surprised by my T's reaction, that maybe you can be surprised by yours caring for you? From what you've posted about your T, she seems like she's doing a good job.
What did you say? "Hey, T, I just wanted to say I'm sorry?" Because if so, she probably won't call back. I've called and apologized on my T's voicemail and she doesn't call back unless I ask her. If not she'll bring it up the next session. And if you want a call back, CALL HER BACK! Seriously. I"ve called my T 3 times in a 36 hour span. Once was rambling, the other one upset, and the third asking for a phone call back...which she did. Do it at night or a time you know she won't pick up, and say "I know I called already, but I am really spinning around about last session and need a phone call back." Or whatever works for you. She WILL call you back.

T's don't play games. Their job is to have us stop playing games with ourselves! She is not setting you up to fail. I know how you feel, because I've felt the same way. THinking "Well, she brought this up because she wants me to quit, or find another t." I thought that she wanted to fire me for about 3 years. We endlessly had this conversation about it, but it just never felt like enough. There was always "I could still do this and then she'll fire me, or I can just never open up and she'll get sick of me" going around and around. This finally stopped in small moments. How I went into a session nervous about an email i sent her, afraid i'd made her mad, but i realized...i wasn't worried about her kicking me out! All of those YEARS of her telling me over and over that she won't kick me out finally sunk in.

#1: Call your T back. Let her know you need her to call you. You can leave it at that, or tell her that you are unsure if you still have an appt. on monday. If this is something you are confused about, call her. Seriously. If you can't do that...GO TO YOUR SESSION on monday. If this is a weekly slot that you have, then it will be open to you. No T is going to let you walk out the door and then think "Oh well, guess Granite is gone...time to move on." You didn't storm out saying you were never coming back again. Did she say anything to you when you left? If not, I think she's probably expecting you back. CALL HER.