Quote:
Originally Posted by Rose76
I intensely dislike hugs from people I don't know and/or don't have a special emotional connection with. (Usually.) That's the culture in which I was raised (non-hugging.)
Now, I have some relatives-by-marriage who grew up in "hugging cultures" and who really warmly care for me. I absolutely love getting their hugs.
I really do appreciate a good handshake, just about anytime, from anyone. I specify "a good handshake." I would rather get no handshake than a hand shake from someone who does not know how to shake a hand.
Most Americans in places where I have lived aren't very good at either handshakes or hugs. I spent some time in England, Wales, and Ireland. Handshaking is an art form there. I just loved their handshakes. I always felt the handshake I got was tailor-made just for me. It communicated all kinds of things. Think about it - the hands are the most tactile surface of the body.
Once I showed up on the doorstep of a relative who is from a hugging culture and who is a world class hugger. I arrived there in tears, after some very sad stuff. Well this relative wrapped me in a hug and actually rocked me side to side in that hug. It said, "You are in need of consolation and I will console you."
What was I saying while participating in the prolonged rocking hug? I was saying: "I feel heart broken like a lost child, and thank you for wrapping me in your love."
I have never wished to be hugged by a therapist. Maybe I'm odd. For me that is too much a family thing to do with someone who is rendering a professional service. What I would like very much is for a T to just rub one corner of my back in a circle - just briefly - while saying "I think well of you."
|
I had my first rocking hug just last week. LOVED IT! Who came up with that anyway? They should get the noble prize for awesomeness.
My therapist and I also hugged (not rocking) last week for the 3rd time in over 10 years. It was the first time that I ever engaged in the hug. It was nice. He's a good guy - the best really.