I don't think hugs replace words or words, hugs. I think touch is its own way of communicating, has it's own "vocabulary". It's known that touching is necessary for life; if you don't pick up and handle an infant, it dies. I don't think that need goes away.

I think anything we want/need and don't get much of takes on a life of its own? Look at money :-) Lots of people think if they only had money. . . or if they only weighed x pounds. . . or if they only, etc. But when we have "enough" of something we want/need, we're just more balanced?

My abusive stepmother got old and senile; she's been dead 10 years this summer. I remember a couple years before she died, she was staying at my house and would have trouble waking in the morning. One morning I climbed in bed behind her and just started rubbing her back -- don't know why; it's not something I normally would do! But I'm rubbing her back and just thinking about hugs and back rubs and being triggered back to when I was 5 and would get out of the bath at night and she'd rub me down with the towel and get me in my PJ's (footed, of course :-) and into bed where there'd be further back rubbing and covering with blankets and the whole, sweet, putting-to-bed ritual. And I'm thinking about all that and remembering and also realizing that here I'm rubbing my mother's back, almost 50 years later, and wondering when was the last time she had someone touch her in a warm, caring way instead of just incidentally, automatically. Then I wondered about myself again and what it would be like to be "alone" at 85, with no one to rub my back or give my bottom a pat (my husband does every night before I go up to bed).

I thought they were just thoughts and realizations and musings. But when I went "out" later that week, to work and in the world, I no longer was afraid of touch! I could make my way through crowds, firmly touching people's shoulders and inserting myself in some of their space with an "Excuse me!" slowly moving forward -- I'd never been able to do that before. When huggers went to hug me, I could be hugged without being so stiff and anxious, could even do a bit of hugging back (but still, wondering when to let go and who lets go first, etc. got in my way :-) I felt "part of" a larger space around me as if my anxiety borders had moved back again. And I think that's what happened.

I don't think we just have "mental" problems that we're fighting with words, we also have physical ones. Intellectually we know eating "right" and getting enough sleep and exercise will make us feel better mentally, but we forget or something. It's been shown that exercise can be as useful for depression relief as meds! http://psychcentral.com/news/2011/08...ion/28912.html

So, I don't think hugs replace words, but if we can get to a place where we can give and receive hugs, that might replace some of our meds?