((Tree)) Oh yes! That makes sense! Your T will understand. It is all an important part of healing trauma. When someone we know, trust, and love has harmed us, we are put into an emotional double-bind. That is very difficult to deal with at times.
We love the person and hate them or their past actions both at the same time.

My T taught me that it is OK to feel both things at the same time. Both are valid emotions.