some emotional breakthroughs / revelations are indeed painful. painful thoughts are sometimes just as much in our muscles as in our minds. they resonate throughout our bodies - that's why some healing therapies focus on mind/body connections.

yes, sometimes new self knowledge is scary. but, it is also progress because you have verbalized and become aware of something new. see where this knowledge takes you. be patient. keep working on it. deal with the fear and pain as best as you can. they will eventually lessen. a new reality awaits . . . all the best to you!