Quote:
Originally Posted by Perna
I thought they were just thoughts and realizations and musings. But when I went "out" later that week, to work and in the world, I no longer was afraid of touch! I could make my way through crowds, firmly touching people's shoulders and inserting myself in some of their space with an "Excuse me!" slowly moving forward -- I'd never been able to do that before. When huggers went to hug me, I could be hugged without being so stiff and anxious, could even do a bit of hugging back (but still, wondering when to let go and who lets go first, etc. got in my way :-) I felt "part of" a larger space around me as if my anxiety borders had moved back again. And I think that's what happened.
I don't think we just have "mental" problems that we're fighting with words, we also have physical ones.
|
Perna, I love this. Before I got my huggy therapist, I was starved for touch, and would touch people at work, unconsciously, just on the arm, but still it was kinda inappropriate. No sense of anyone's boundaries! And honestly, the first 3 years of hugs with T were pretty stiff and awkward. I get the impression that people here think that even that first hug will be magical. It's no walk in the park from my experience. it's been hard work! okay, not that tough! but to take it seriously and be aware of your feelings and notice how they change over time and report that - maybe a lot more talking goes on with hugging than you would think. Certain kinds of hugs make me feel very secure, so why do I want one now, and now how do I feel, and the eternal open question, "what else is going on?"! To me, feeling happy and secure IN THAT ROOM, then going out into the world, is how it was supposed to be, how I was supposed to be able to present myself to the world from home. As we used to say at work, it's an Attitude Adjustment - but without the alcohol?!