This is something that worries me the most. I won't let my guard down and say that everything is not fine.

I saw a counsellor at school last year when I was having a crisis and she didn't even get a chance to introduce herself before I blurted it out and started crying because I was such a mess. But the next time I went to see her, I was back to my locked up self and that's when we kind of got stuck. It was almost a good thing that I was in such a state that it came out during that session, it was an ice breaker. But now the ice is fully refrosted for my safety and I don't know how to get through that and not say everything is great.

I don't understand how therapy works when you have trust issues because....it seems so integral. But ..*sigh*

I think another thing I worry about is that I AM paying for them, so I SHOULD make the most of them and that's when I panic in the silence. Because it's "wasted time"