>>>>>>We split after I found she was having an affair; or rather I moved out! Ever since I noticed she was behaving in ways typical to having BP ...<<<<<<

Do you think she was cheating do to increased sexual drive related to a manic episode? Is that what you're saying?

I've never done that or wanted to do that, however my Tdoc said it's common for people with BP during a manic episode and at times "compels" them to cheat, but they are just as ill at the time as someone who during a manic episode that buys/shops too much, gambles too much or talks to much. I'm not saying it's right, but apparently it happens. If someone would have tried to stop my shopping during hypomania I would have become furious!

Only a Pdoc could determine if she IS BP.

>>>Do you think, that my being absent has basically put a nail in the coffin?<<<<

This is a tuffy....if she WAS ill and you left (although clearly reasonable since she was cheating on you), she may feel you abandoned her. But, that's just a guess. She may resent you now and in her mind you are not someone who she can rely on. Of course none off this is "rational" thinking, since SHE was the one who stepped outside the marriage.

So basically without a diagnosis, without her going to therapy, without her communicating with you.....some of these questions may never be answered and you may just have to except what she has said which is that she doesnt feel the same for you anymore.

As hard as it is to except you may just have to move on with your life....sorry