WOW.....your commitment knocks me out. I feel as though I've been on the precipice for a long time...see sawing along and then, for some reason or another, I'm done with the anesthesia too. The numbness just aint working any more. yes, I'm older than your average PC member, too, in all likelihood (I aint telling!) I'm burning daylight!

For me, though, some supportive therapy is necessary otherwise I feel so swamped by the anger, regrets, and did I mention the anger? I need a therapist who can support me and give some steadiness or I feel that I will completely fall apart while facing some of these dark spaces, and yes, they're particularly about my mother, who failed to protect me during my early years....when my rage-a-holic father was on his otherworldly rampages -- violence, violence and violence....memories that I can take apart but only slowly. No wonder I'm angry sometimes. And sad!

I feel like I'm detonating a bomb, to be melodramatic. but in a sense, that's exactly what I'm doing....tick tick tick...
And I need others in my bomb squad, and for me, that means support.

But there are many ways to go about this...and go about it, I must!

Take care!