Good words from above posts, laura. I'd especially echo that a med tweak/change is probably in order and that depressed and apathetic isn't "normal", so maybe it isn't "normal" that's the problem. I can definitely relate to your wanting to go off meds on account of it though. I'm in the same place. When discussing "stable" with psych today, I even joked, "yeah, stable if you mean unchanging". I've been so depressed for so long I can't help but think, "****, I can have that with no meds!" (But in reality realize I'd become even more difficult to live with, as the meds have helped with the irritability/rage stuff...)

(In reading your profile, I see you list BPD. Do you mean BP?) How long have you been taking your current med(s)? How often do you see your Pdoc to discuss how they are going?