I'm 21 years old, and proud to say I haven't had a drink in two days, pretty sad eh? Anyways, went to the gym again. I feel a lot more motivated than before. Things seem back to normal with my girlfriend, I've been talking to more people, and staying a little more occupied. Main goal is still to keep this and not fall back into the same whole. A few of the problems I still have are, when my girlfriend texts in front of me, (other than I kinda find it a little rude to text in front of people) I still kinda wonder whos shes talking to and what shes saying, but I just try and push those thoughts out. Big improvement though, I didn't nag her about it and show my insecurity. The other thing that bothers me has to do with working out. I'm starting to go to the gym again, I just need to stick with it for good I know this, but I feel embarrassed sometimes. How out of shape I am for being in the army. I should be able to do a lot of pushups, and I just worked out and tried to do some after and did three and reached muscle failure. I worked chest out but still I should be able to do a lot. And running, I just feel like I suck and don't get better. Maybe I just need to see some visual changes then I will feel like I have a reason to stick with it? Does any of this make sense? I work out, feel like I suck at it, but want to stop instead of keep going. I don't know, just a couple of the things on my mind tonight, felt like the right thing to do is post them here. Thanks.