granite try to think as logically as you can (i know how HARD that can be)...what reason would your T ever have to lie to you? What could she possibly gain from that? She has no incentive just to say it to you. A T's job isn't to always make you feel better. It is to HELP you feel better...and she is telling you the truth, she hasn't ever been angry at you, just your perception of her anger is what you remember. You know what I have done and said to my T when she says something I can't believe yet, is "Ok. I have to consciously choose to believe you." It was a choice, because if I kept listening to all my self-doubts, I would never ever do it.

To me therapy is tiny leap of faiths all the time. And maybe big ones..but I haven't gotten there yet There has been so many times where I am so afraid to trust what she is saying, and if I REALLY think about it, she has never actually gone back on her word. I have yet to be fired! And sometimes I just have to let my fear go, even if it is just for a little while. It sometimes comes back, and then we talk about it. T's must be good at talking in circles about things, because thats mostly what I do.

I am proud of you for calling her back. She DID call you back, and gave you positive feedback, AND wants to see you! These are good things, and I hope your next session can be a little easier. Do you think maybe that part of the reason you are so upset is because you set yourself up to maybe be more than you could be at the moment? I forget who it was that said that they are so anxious to have a connection after a break with a T, and when it doesn't happens, it hurts that much more. Or that you are putting too much pressure on yourself to talk? I get the sense that your T understands your fear to talk. She truly does. She is patient, and is trying to figure out the best way to help.

I like her