After reading your breakthrough thread and now this one, I see that we both have mother issues - specifically issues from a mother who was unfit and did not love her children. I also have only brothers, one of whom is an alcoholic. I don't know where you stand in birth order - I was firstborn. I would say that my mother is responsible for the early death of my father at the age of 45. Yes, she was that cold.

Abuse and neglect by my mother has haunted me my entire life and has been very emotionally painful to deal with. Because of the abuse, I have never dated and have had trouble making and keeping friends. And, I've suffered from depression for years and apparently (recently diagnosed by my T) also suffered from complex PTSD. Further, I have repeated the pattern of my childhood by staying in abusive jobs.

Dealing with this issue is not something to rush into. I've tried treating it with many different psychological modalities; some of which have not been effective at all (avoid CBT & EMDR). Psychoanalysis / psycho-dynamics seem to work best for me though I have never made much progress with my life. Frankly, even with the insights from therapy, my life seems hopeless. I never received parenting essentials that are necessary to succeed.

There is hope if you were the youngest of your siblings. My youngest brother turned out alright from the help of his older brothers and good friends and their parents. I hope that your journey is more successful than mine and wish you all the best.